I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
