Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
