when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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