peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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