just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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