hotel room ftw
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
