Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water

(425): View more from Washington

Legs for days

(1-425): View more from Washington

Harpoon that

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(208): View more from Idaho

all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.

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(440): View more from Ohio

You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back

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(213): View more from California

dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

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(305): View more from Florida

Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.

(1-305): View more from Florida

God Bless cinco de mayo

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(734): View more from Michigan

The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?

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(407): View more from Florida

My vagina is officially offended.

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