Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
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I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
pray to the hookup gods