i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation