Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea