You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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