I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
