he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Randomize
