I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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