What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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