i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
