Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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