I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
