My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It was confusing and full of hummus
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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