worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
