I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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