How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
