dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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