I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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