Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
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This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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