he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize