Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im holly from the hills drunk
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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