there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
