May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize