she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
