i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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