Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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