He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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