You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
