i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize