your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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