it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
