the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
