What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
