We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
