: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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