Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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