dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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