so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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