I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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