my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
