I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
two words: eviction party
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
