she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
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the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
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My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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