my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Randomize
