he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
