It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
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Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
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Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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