It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
