biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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