I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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