I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
