the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
