Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
