I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
